the first section of a poem i'm currently working on

In the light of a blood-red madrona,
beneath a murder of crows holding forth like politicians,
my thoughts cower beneath what I feel,
in the place where the cut bleeds
beneath the bandage, a flowering of crimson life
flooding over dry, grey skin,
—I am, and I’m squirming.

My cell walls are thinner than wire threads,
the color of copper-flavored capsules,
without mediators or helpers.
My self, awkward as it may sound,
is like a sperm helplessly swimming
in hopes of an unknown
(but much thought-of) egg,
an intuitive disaster of a being.

Each day, now, seems like a blow to the head.

I can barely reach the end of my own sentences

before the crows call out their ridicule:

There's a red pleasure

in grim laughter.